Orientation (or Disorientation…)

Welcome to the first visit into the wandering mind of a doltish sage. I’m still toying with exactly what it is that I hope to do with this page, but for the moment at least, I’m inviting you to join me on my maiden voyage into the blogging unknown.

I’ve always enjoyed writing and for a long time I’ve entertained thoughts in my head about letting it occupy more of my time.  Over the years, I’ve gotten many compliments on things that I’ve written, whether it’s been writing out of necessity, emotion or boredom. Regardless of the situation, it’s one of the few compliments I genuinely appreciate. I pride myself on having a knack for words. To some, that may sound funny, because I can be very quiet and not overly talkative. Then again, some of you that know me best probably wish I would shut the hell up about the nonsense that flies from my mouth from time to time. But I digress…

Being my introductory rambling, I suppose I should delve into exactly what I meant when I started this post by referring to my wandering mind and the doltish sage bit. At any given minute, there’s no telling where my thoughts are or even where they’ll be the next minute. For a guy who has the energy level of a sloth on Ambien more often than not, most of you would be amazed at the polar opposite clutter and chaos that exist within this bald dome of mine. A comparison that comes to mind currently would be wandering through Newark Airport at a peak time. Hoards moving in every direction imaginable, with little rhyme, reason or even regard to surroundings. The more I think about it, that’s actually a frighteningly accurate way of describing my brain. So many gates to check into with endless destinations available. It certainly makes life interesting, but a fundamental flaw is that you don’t always know what plane you’re getting on or where it’s going. Hell, mid-flight rerouting is not only common, but expected. And don’t get me started on those bastards losing my luggage along the way. But thank god for airport bars and airplane bottles of rum.

If you’re still with me, congratulations on making it through my first diversion from intended script. I’m sure there will be plenty more where that came from, but my intention in letting this experiment evolve is to let my words and thoughts flow where ever they may, with minimal editing or staying on the rails. Apologies in advance, but if that’s not for you, it’s best you disembark off this ship at this particular port of call.

Anyway, back to the doltish sage bit. Some of you know me to come up with nuggets of wisdom from time to time. Some of you know me to make little to no sense from time to time. Admittedly, I myself don’t always know whether I’m next-level intuitive, intelligent or just plain batshit crazy. The reality of the situation is somewhere in the middle of all of the above I’m sure. As I say quite often, even a broken clock is right twice a day. I have my moments, but I have no illusions that I’m some type of guru on anything at all. My occasional wit is easily matched by my occasional brain fart. Such is life.

I guess I’ll start to wrap this up since I’ve been going on and on about nothing for long enough now. Should you choose to continue on this journey of literary shenanigans, I wish you luck. I have no idea where this is going, how often it will be or for how long I’ll even keep it up. What can you expect to read in the future? My vague goal is to keep this blog entirely open ended. I’d like to write about whatever the hell pops into my head, whenever the hell I’m inspired enough to let the keyboard be my conduit to blabbering. There will be nonsense. There will be epiphanies. There will be debauchery. There will be grand moments of clarity. There will be  headscratching clusterfucks of semi-thoughts. You’ll get my thoughts on life and any particular aspect of it that is occupying my brain at the time of writing. You poor bastards…

Once again, if you’ve made it this far, I offer my thanks and apologies for having subjected minutes of your limited time on this spinning ball of earth to reading what amounts to absolutely nothing. Good times! Welcome aboard and I hope you enjoy the trip. As Jimmy Buffett sings, “If we weren’t all crazy, we would go insane.”

Fair winds and following seas…bon voyage!